Rise of the THIN-agers

It all happened very fast. A couple of weeks ago, a friend posted Victoria’s Secret’s 2011 Fashion Show on Facebook. There, she put the caption “Thinspiration” (a conjunction for thin and inspiration). Days later, half the girls in our office started their journey towards a thinner (emphasis on the “er”) version of themselves. Starving themselves half the day and jogging all together at night (creepy mental image, I know), they were going all out in order to look better—well not really-- more of, to look the way pop culture wants them to. This got me thinking. Really, why is it that everyone I know seems to be on a constant goal to lose weight? Isn’t it that the only poor people were meant to be skinny?

This morning, as I was walking down the usual route to my office, I passed by a mirrored wall and came across my own reflection. Comparing my own image with those walking pass me, I came into a realization. One that startled my own being—I.AM.FAT. And I hated it.

Staring at the grossness that is my own reflection,  I got reminded of those skinny Italian male models that I used to look up to so much. It was amazing how people like them are regarded so highly in a society that looks at skin tone, facial structure and other superficialities as if they were the ultimate reality.

Josh Beech. The new image of male perfection along with those Korean boyband members.

Looking 10 years back, I never thought I’d be in the position-- ever. I never thought I’d be fat. I’ve always been the kid who needs to gain weight—always been the one who needed to eat more bread and rice. And while I can spend another hour more talking how I started packing the pounds or trying to decipher which psychological issue I had the past year caused my physical inflation, I’d rather not.

I’m fat and I need to lose weight. Problem is, I don’t know how. I’m new. A new fat guy. Do I even strive to shed the pounds right away? Or do I wallow on this first? Do I need to start being a couch potato? Do I need to shop for bigger clothes?

A lot of questions. Unanswerable… yet. Point is, I’m fat. I need to lose weight. Any suggestions?

8 Ways to Spot a Social Climber

Social climber (n) someone who seeks social prominence or advancement to a higher social class for example by obsequious behavior.

Holly Golightly. Probably one of the very few lovable social climbers out there.  

One thing that everyone needs to understand is that social climbers are like candies. They come in all sort of forms, sizes, shapes, colors and yes, taste (some can be acquired while others remain disgusting). Most of them are mean (especially to those who they perceive are beneath them) while some are rather pleasant.

A recent run-in with a climber inspired me to do this post. I don’t really hate social climbers. I have no reason to hate them (although most really annoy the hell out of me). This post is just a heads up to everyone—nothing more, nothing less. Spot a social climber before he (or most commonly ‘she’) gets the best of you.

Here are eight ways to spot a social climber based on behaviors they display.

1. On Facebook or Twitter, checks in at expensive places and tags society people. Social climbers need to be seen at special places where people who have cash usually hang out—whether in reality or on social networking sites. This reinforces their image as someone who can afford and enjoy the same exclusive luxuries that well-off people can. Spot social climbers by looking at their posts. If it usually involves checking in to restaurants and hotels or pictures with prominent people, then mark this number with a check.
2. Uses hyphaluting words. Social climbers want to be seen as someone who knows their stuff. Thus, they often result to using big words to wow people and make them think that they had better learning than everyone else. Be vigilant. At times you might think, that they’re using every word properly, but truth of the matter is, they’re not.
3. Results to dabbling with the arts. Of course, every social climber wishes that they were brought up in a very nice environment surrounded by culture and arts. Part of climbing the ladder is making it seem like they’re very well versed with something that only rich people usually understand, the most common of which is the arts. Whether it be visual, music or poetry. Expect a social climber to have interest in them. But it’s not like they’re actually interested. The thing is, they’re interested with how knowing all these things make them look like to other people
4. Travels a lot. Rich people love to travel. And this is why social climbers love to explore as well. Again, check on Facebook or Twitter. If a person has an album for every single place he’s been too, consider yourself warned.
5. Brands. Brands. Brands. Since the dawn of time (see: advent of high-end retail), brands have sort of become like a definer of lifestyle and social class. There are people who can afford branded stuff and there are people who’d starve to death just so they can get their hands on anything expensive. This one’s quite tricky. Assess the person. If they got pictures of themselves brutally brandishing the brand in front of your face, then that’s definitely a climber.
6. An air of elegance (or not). It is very important that we realize that everything that social climbers do (and I mean everything) is for show—even the way they eat their lobsters, drink their tea or pick up their bags. Show. Some climbers are so good at what they do that you might actually think they had etiquette schooling. So how do you tell which one’s a climber and which one’s a legit rich-o? Walls. If a person acts and moves oh so perfectly every time, all the time, then be on guard.
7. Only the best. Again, climbers know that the key to getting in with the higher crowd is to be at par with them. From food and wines to towels and hair products, social climbers only want what’s best.
8. Moving in to Snob-iety. Most social climbers are snob or eventually become snobs. Basically, once they see that they’ve no use for a person anymore, or that person is not really worth their time—ignore. I don’t really know what it is, but for some reason, climbers think that ignoring people from a “lower social” class is a surefire way to step up the ladder.

Coming clean: I really wanted to do a top 10 entry for this post but I really don’t know all that much about social climbers. So there you go. Eight.

To recap everything, social climbers do the best they can to appear like an elitist or a descendant of one. And remember that these are merely guidelines. And also, it’s bad to judge people. So don’t ever do that. *Insert freakishly annoying smile here*